queen bee

so many things are changing in this home, this family.

for one, the dynamics of the animalkingdom here at 418 has changed drastically. when we had to find special homes for three of our five dogs in preparation of the move, the question was not could we live without them, but 'which ones could not live without us?'

well, brooklyn is one of those two. we adopted her as an adult dog and she came to us with her tail between her legs. when i say that she is from the lineage of eeyore, believe it to be true. we watched her become open to the idea of love & worthiness. it has been a slow process and we knew that it would break her heart to not be with us after she put her last quarter in our slotmachine. i was able to capture this photo of her yesterday while she was looking at sage on the couch.

you have to keep on keeping on. you just have to, you know. the only other option is to stop keeping on...and where in the hell does that get you? nowhere pretty damn quick, that is where. so, you keep wrapping your mind around new ideas, new realities until it sticks. brooklyn wrapped her beautiful sweet mind around us and i hope that the payoff of that stretch has been huge. it has been for us.

yesterday found me cleaning & making boxes for the garagesale in the next few months. we are paring down once again and there is such excitement in the act of purging. we do this once a year and it used to be twice a year back in brooklyn. i feel myself retracting a bit from this house...i know it must seem like it is just a house, but it is so much to us. it is the can when someone once told me it was a can't. it is the home that raised our children & their friends. it was the jewel in the rough that we polished every weekend until it was shining like the blingiest of bling.

one of my secret worries is that i won't be able to put my heart & soul into another home, but i have to keep wrapping my brain around doing just that until it sticks.