Wednesday, July 30, 2008
to lay down my armor
some may read this and still not acknowledge the hand of God on their shoulder or the safety of His seatbelt during their day, but something nothing short of a miracle happened yesterday.
i was able to forgive completely.
hurt and anger had been my bedfellows for months and my constant companions with their yardstick and measuring tape reminding me of the damage. if i had been a naysayer before, i would surely not be one today. maybe, my impatience won and i was tired of waiting, but i believe that God gave me a homecooked lil' bitchslap with the whisper of 'you will thank Me later, girl.'
there are things that we each can do well. um, make a mean soup or a heavenly pesto, or sew the perfect hem, but to lay down my armor? the armor was the very essence of me, but was slowly sinking me and that very essence. it was the hurtingest of hurt and it is gone. *poof* really, just like that, y'all.
last night, i realized that sometimes within the power of remembering is the power to forget and that to survive and to mend are sometimes two different things. i didn't want to just survive, but to mend, as well.
cuz seriously now, what good is a joyful girl with a broken soul?