Saturday, January 26, 2008

creative refusal & resistance

i just finished the sociopath next door
by dr. martha stout
and it is such a fascinating read.

to keep the blinders off our life-enhancing seventh sense, as with most improvements in the human condition, we must start with our children. a part of healthy conscience is being able to confront consciencelessness. when you teach your daughter, explicitly or by passive rejection, that she must ignore her outrage, that she must be kind and accepting to the point of not defending herself or other people, that she must not rock the boat for any reason, you are not strengthening her prosocial sense; you are damaging it---and the first person she will stop protecting is herself. cox, stabb, and bruckner (women's anger: clinical and developmental perspectives) argue emphatically that "the requirement to suppress outrage at the other robs the woman of an opportunity to develop this kind of autonomy." instead, as lyn mikel brown has said, we need to suggest "the possibility, even under the most oppressive conditions, for creative refusal and resistance."

this passage above really spoke to me and i wanted to have it in my journal. i think every girl should be required to take a course in women's studies by 9th grade and that they should retake it again later as a refresher course or when they have a daughter of their own. it is never too late.


fiwa said...

I think it is too late for me, but it sounds like an interesting read. I'll see if I can get it at the library.

Hey, I have one for you: Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver. Fan-freaking-tastic. Please read it.

Have a wonderful weekend, sweets. :)


Sis said...

Dawn, this one really appeals to me. I have some sort of freakish fascination for this kind of stuff - Jack was once raising his eyebrows at me because I went on a serial killer reading binge and read everything on those guys that I could. As soon as I finish "The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova, this one is next on the list.

You are so right about what we teach our daughters and to a certain extent, some of our sons. As well as the attitude some parents have that to love their child is to give them every single thing they want no matter what, with no discipline or consequences involved...our society needs to open it's eyes to what our children see through theirs.

I love ya, girlie
(P.S. On another note, I am determined to plant a Katy Road Pink this year in honor of you...)

Andie-The Brown Bee said...

I'm with Fiwa....I think it's definitely too late for me! But I'm always willing to educate myself, even when I'm unsure of the good it may do. =o]

Brad said...

I've got a fair amount of young twenty something friends and i find the women more together than the men - It's the guys attitude of entitlement that bothers me. To often it's brushed off as boys will be boys. We need to break some myths about women with the dudes.

Lisa R said...

My-Oh-My, Dawn... You must have been viewing the video of life at our place this week!! Kuddoes to you for combining your innate courage and awesome blog skills to put a voice to this subject. It seems that we females are capable of frightening ourselves with our own anger.

Sisaroo said...

Dawn - one of the to-do's on the list from the blogger award site said to pass awards to 5 people. I have thought long and hard about it, and am awarding you the Courageous Blogger Award. You have come through one of the hardest years of your life and never lost your focus or purpose. You are awe-inspiring and amazing and I love you. I can only hope I have a inkling of your courage...

Now you got the site - go get the badge!

Sisaroo said...

haha, oops - I changed from "sis" to "sisaroo" - didn't know it affected my signature, lol - but it's still me!

Ginni Dee said...

Dawn, it sounds like a great book...I'll put it on my list.

A bird in the hand said...

damn right! Luckily I was a rebel, although some of it perforce seeped in. I worked it out of my system over the years. It's never too late.

(love the song that's playing right how -- fabulous voice too)xoxo

kansasrose said...

Thank you &aaaaaamen! Great book recommendation! ...2 daughters...too damn much cognitive therapy 51.8 years later still trying get my head right, thinkin' there is still a party to attend, there is still time to the last breath